don't give up.

I feel like it's been ages since I've blogged. I guess that's what the job and life will do to ya.

The job. That's what's on my mind this Saturday. And not necessarily what I do at my job, but the people, the kids. These first few weeks at my new school have been everything but fun and easy. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Something I've learned over the past month: When newness and change enter your life so does the enemy.

Something I've learned over the past week: When blessings fall on you, temptation follows close behind.

Something I've learned (been reminded of) this past morning: When you're anxious and fearful, sit at the feet of Jesus.

I guess I should expand upon why it's been the hardest thing in my life. My first year of teaching I went back home. Almost every face was familiar. Everyone knew my heart and supported me and loved me. When all of that is in place, there isn't much need for adjustment. I was just "coming home." It was..... easy. It was.... fun.

Fast forward a year later. I am now at a new school. No one knows me nor do I know them. They don't know my heart. They don't know my sensitiveness. They don't know that I am a peacemaker by nature... it's been hard. Not that my co-workers or students are mean (well some of them are), but they are just... different. I've had to approach these "big city" freshman from a totally different angle than the way I approached my "country kids." I've had to approach my co-workers (with totally different spiritual beliefs) from a totally different angle. Through the newness and the adjustments, I've experienced the liveliness of the enemy like I never have before. He (satan) really does prowl around like a lion waiting for someone to devour.

I was discouraged after my first week of teaching. Not once did I doubt that this is exactly where I am supposed to be, but discouraged nonetheless. I began to wonder why do I even do what I do? Why do I even try to make a difference in kids lives? What is the point?! They clearly do. not. care.

But o how merciful a Savior we love and serve.

I was so clearly reminded of my purpose last Saturday night at church. I was reminded of the TRUTH. Jesus spoke to me through the pastor.

He read from Matthew 9:35-38 "The harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few."

"Jesus loves people because of the way He sees them. Jesus sees the hurt and how the enemy is tearing lives apart. Jesus sees the soul....We will never feel for people the way Jesus does, until we begin seeing people as Jesus does."

And how does Jesus see people? Children? Muslims? Murderers? Homosexuals? He has compassion for them. He has steadfast love for them. Yes, He LOVES ALL OF THEM. Am I saying Jesus doesn't have a problem with the sin in their lives? No, I am not. He has a problem with the sin, but He loves the sinner.

So what do I do? I LOVE ALL OF THEM. It is my purpose. It is my calling. It is my job. I will love the disrespectful student and hate the disrespect. I will love the short-tempered co-worker and hate the temper.

What is our call as Christians? To be more like Christ. So we love --- like Christ loves. If Christians can't love, who can? Who will? We need to be more loving today than we ever have before. We must go to war with the evil one. We have to fight! 

And the pastor left us with this: "Don't give up." So I persevere. Until His Kingdom work is done.