september highlights.

September was full of a lot of work and not enough play. Although, I did get to squeeze in a couple of fun things. Here are the highlights.

• Some quality time with Lauren Rutland consisted of yoga, church, lunch dates, & dinner dates at grocery stores (P.S. The grocery stores around here are suitable for dinner dates).
• I bought a "love" ring to help remind me that my Savior loves me unconditionally & I am called to love others the same. 
• Prestonwood hosted "Harvest America" with Greg Laurie and Third Day lead worship! Somehow Caitlin & I ended up on the front row because apparently Luke has connections?! We weren't complaining!
• I started a book called "Calm My Anxious Heart." But this isn't just any book. Earlier this summer I went to Boston & on my flight home ended up sitting by one of the most Christlike women I've ever met. We talked about our walk with Christ the entire 3 hour flight to Dallas. I received this book in the mail from her last week. Jesus is literally the coolest. This book is about finding contentment & that's exactly what I've been working on! Monica lives in Massachusetts and I don't know if I'll ever see her again on earth, but we'll be in Heaven forever together one day. :) 
• Courtney had baby Ella!!! Isn't she beautiful?! I cannot wait to meet her. Congrats, Courtney & Nehemiah! 

Not pictured:

• I joined a gym just for the a-mazing yoga instructor.
• Linnette and I had a fun day hiking Arbor Hills Nature Reserve!
• I became a member to my new home church, Prestonwood Baptist (beyond thankful, blessed & excited about this!) and found a Sunday school class that "fits."
• A few fun, dinner nights with Stephen before he left to work in the field until February. 

I have a lot more activities planned for October. I'm determine to not let work get the best of me!

don't give up.

I feel like it's been ages since I've blogged. I guess that's what the job and life will do to ya.

The job. That's what's on my mind this Saturday. And not necessarily what I do at my job, but the people, the kids. These first few weeks at my new school have been everything but fun and easy. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Something I've learned over the past month: When newness and change enter your life so does the enemy.

Something I've learned over the past week: When blessings fall on you, temptation follows close behind.

Something I've learned (been reminded of) this past morning: When you're anxious and fearful, sit at the feet of Jesus.

I guess I should expand upon why it's been the hardest thing in my life. My first year of teaching I went back home. Almost every face was familiar. Everyone knew my heart and supported me and loved me. When all of that is in place, there isn't much need for adjustment. I was just "coming home." It was..... easy. It was.... fun.

Fast forward a year later. I am now at a new school. No one knows me nor do I know them. They don't know my heart. They don't know my sensitiveness. They don't know that I am a peacemaker by nature... it's been hard. Not that my co-workers or students are mean (well some of them are), but they are just... different. I've had to approach these "big city" freshman from a totally different angle than the way I approached my "country kids." I've had to approach my co-workers (with totally different spiritual beliefs) from a totally different angle. Through the newness and the adjustments, I've experienced the liveliness of the enemy like I never have before. He (satan) really does prowl around like a lion waiting for someone to devour.

I was discouraged after my first week of teaching. Not once did I doubt that this is exactly where I am supposed to be, but discouraged nonetheless. I began to wonder why do I even do what I do? Why do I even try to make a difference in kids lives? What is the point?! They clearly do. not. care.

But o how merciful a Savior we love and serve.

I was so clearly reminded of my purpose last Saturday night at church. I was reminded of the TRUTH. Jesus spoke to me through the pastor.

He read from Matthew 9:35-38 "The harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few."

"Jesus loves people because of the way He sees them. Jesus sees the hurt and how the enemy is tearing lives apart. Jesus sees the soul....We will never feel for people the way Jesus does, until we begin seeing people as Jesus does."

And how does Jesus see people? Children? Muslims? Murderers? Homosexuals? He has compassion for them. He has steadfast love for them. Yes, He LOVES ALL OF THEM. Am I saying Jesus doesn't have a problem with the sin in their lives? No, I am not. He has a problem with the sin, but He loves the sinner.

So what do I do? I LOVE ALL OF THEM. It is my purpose. It is my calling. It is my job. I will love the disrespectful student and hate the disrespect. I will love the short-tempered co-worker and hate the temper.

What is our call as Christians? To be more like Christ. So we love --- like Christ loves. If Christians can't love, who can? Who will? We need to be more loving today than we ever have before. We must go to war with the evil one. We have to fight! 

And the pastor left us with this: "Don't give up." So I persevere. Until His Kingdom work is done.

love is trust.

"I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." -Jesus

Do I really truly honestly completely believe those words? Do I really understand the reality of the word never in that statement?

What is it about Sundays that makes it such a somber day...for me anyways. I don't know if it's because the excitement of the weekend is over or if it's because I anticipate another week of work or if it's because it's a family orientated day and my family isn't here or if it's because Jesus wants me to still my heart and sit in His Presence... I don't know what it is, but it happens almost every Sunday. And I, personally, don't think it's a bad thing. I feel like so many times people think they should be excited and happy 24/7 and if they aren't then something is wrong with them.

I think it's a good thing to be somber some days. To sit. Rest. And think. Think about the hard things. Brokenness...pain...old wounds...sin. If I never took the time to ponder and pray over these things, how would I even know they exist? And then, if I realize they exist, how would I ever change? That is why I think it is so important to think about the hard things. Thinking and praying and facing the hard things is healing. It's freedom. It's newness of life.

And in the midst of the hard things, I trust. I trust that it is only Christ training and disciplining me. I trust that Christ is healing me. I trust that even though at times Christ feels far, He is very near. I trust that it is only for a short time. I trust that Christ is saving me.

And through my trust in Christ, I am loving Christ.

love is trust.