my Jesus lives.

Before reading, I want you to know that I am not writing this post about a girl who got her dream job. I am writing this for one purpose. To share about the goodness of our Jesus and the activity in His children's lives NOW - on this side of heaven.

Here it goes.

For the past six months I have been praying and seeking discernment about where I am supposed to teach next school year. At the beginning of this past spring semester, I didn't know whether or not I was being called to stay in DeRidder or apply for a new job in the Dallas area. But by April I felt pretty certain that I was being called to apply for other jobs. So I signed up to attend a job fair the first weekend in May for Plano ISD. That weekend was incredible. I got to meet some really sweet principals and I had such a peace in my spirit about moving forward. See my "the heavens declare" post about the sign I received in the sky! Jesus lives #1.

After the job fair I did a lot of sitting, waiting and praying. School doesn't end until the first week of June in Texas so I knew I wouldn't be hearing back from any principals anytime soon. I went to Boston the second week of June (here) and hadn't heard a word from anyone at that point. I was definitely starting to get anxious, but trying my best to be confident in what Jesus had already spoken. While on my trip to Boston, my cousin and I road tripped to New Hampshire for a day of hiking. My "miracle on the mountain" post explains the exciting thing that happened once we hiked to the top of the mountain! Basically, after three grueling hours of hiking we finally made it to the top. Once we were up there I had cell phone reception and got a call from a school in Plano that was wanting to interview me! But it wasn't just any school - it was THE school that I wanted to work at more than any of the others! Jesus lives #2.

So I flew home and had my interview on a Tuesday. It was the longest interview of my life, but I felt really good about it. A few days after the interview, I really started to doubt. I thought I actually had a shot at getting the position which led me to start worrying that I wasn't capable of working at a big Texas school. I let Satan in and he started stealing, killing and destroying.  Quickly. Fast forward to the following Tuesday. I was having my quiet time and Jesus led me to Matthew 14:31. "Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him saying, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'"  In that verse Jesus is talking to Peter. Peter and the disciples are on a boat in the middle of a huge storm. And Jesus calls Peter by name and Peter WALKS ON WATER. But then Peter starts looking around him and sees the huge waves and the rain pouring down and he starts to doubt - worrying that he will drown and then he starts to sink! Jesus reached down and grabbed his hand and asked him why he had doubted. But Jesus didn't let Peter drown! He gave him a second chance. After reading that verse I was totally aware that I had doubted and my belief about what Jesus was doing had wavered....later that evening I got a call informing me that I did not get the job I had interviewed for. I doubted Jesus even after all He had confirmed up to that point. Jesus lives #3.

After not getting what I thought was the perfect job at the perfect school and knowing Jesus had ordained it all, I was pretty bummed out. On Wednesday (the day after I had gotten the disheartening phone call) I felt like my boyfriend had broken up with me! Not that I actually know what that feels like because it's been so long since I've had one of those but... you get the point. Then on Thursday morning I sat down to seek Jesus and see what He had to tell me. He had something to say all right. My devotional for that morning was titled "Miracles Again." The part that stood out to me the most was this: "I cannot do many mighty works because of unbelief. So only in response to your belief can I do miracle-works now." Wow. I don't think I have ever been convicted so quickly! After receiving Matthew 14:31 about doubting and then this about unbelief, I knew I needed to repent and ask for forgiveness. So I laid my hand on my Bible and repented of my unbelief and doubt and worry. I pleaded with Jesus to forgive me and give me a second chance like He had given Peter. Then I prayed and affirmed my belief in what He had done, what He was doing and what He was going to do. Then immediately my phone rang....it was another principal wanting to schedule another interview. Jesus lives #4.

My mom and I just cried. We cried because we had seen the hand of God SO at work through this whole process. He was so aware of what I had been thinking and feeling and He was so quick to convict me of my sin and then, once I repented, so quick to bless me!!! He gave me 2 Timothy 3:10-17! I still can hardly believe what I experienced. I didn't jump the gun though - I knew I still had to go through another interview process and another short period of waiting. My interview was the following Monday morning. My sweet friend, Lauren, let me stay with her the night before the interview. She just got a new teaching job (Congrats, Lauren!) so she helped me practice. After the interview, I felt confident as I was walking out of the school's front door, but as soon as I got in my car to leave I had a huge rush of doubt wash over me. Satan started throwing the doubt arrows at me once again, but this time I didn't believe them. Out loud I prayed affirming my trust in Christ and believing that He had not gotten me this far for no reason. I literally prayed that the principal would call me and offer me the job. 45 minutes later my phone rang....it was the principal offering me the job! Jesus lives #5.

I am still speechless when I think about the past two weeks. To think that the Savior of the world cares enough about me, a nobody, to plan every little detail of this job process. He blessed me all along the way too. Indescribable.

I do want to be clear about a few things though. The first being that just because Jesus didn't grant my heart's desires right off the bat because of my unbelief doesn't mean He would do that with every other person in their own situation. Jesus works differently in each person's life. I believe Jesus has hundreds of ways of speaking to His children and teaching them about His sovereignty. For me, He used this job process to show His control, provision and activity in my life.  I totally believe that He works on and through everyone according to each person's heart and where they are in their spiritual walk. Yes, there is only one way to Heaven and that is through Jesus Christ, but there isn't just one way to know and see Jesus Christ. He is everywhere - the mountains, the trees, the flowers, the animals, and His people. He is a multi-tasking God!

I hope you are encouraged through reading this post. I hope that you strive to live Heaven in your heart today and not tomorrow.

My Jesus lives and yours does too.